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Paige Partout

What a match

There’s something to be said for the weather in Marseille, like most of the world, there is currently an unusual heat present which was incredibly gratifying as normally this is the time of year I have to haul out the second cover and start dosing myself up with Vitamin D to make the grey skies more bearable. Marseille is so much like the Cape that I feel oddly at home when visiting. I’m sure that similarly to native Capetonians my Marseille friend has an intense dislike of the city centre which is only superseded by his ire for tourists. Boy oh boy was it a weekend for tourists. The French schools had a small break and so everyone and their dog (quite literally) had chosen to prolong their summer feels by heading to the seaside. I can’t blame them, the Med is truly brilliant if not incredibly crowded even though it’s technically off-season. 

View over Marseille city and coast at sunset

We do not head in early to meet with an ex-colleague of mine but instead, dragging his heels we arrive at 19:00, with the gates opening at 19:30 and an expected turnout of over 60’000 people this feels like a risky move but I trust him to know the route and the way. In typical French fashion, we do not make use of the bus but head out by car parking near one of the sights of Marseille. Again, with his French side showing we take up two parking spaces instead of one. I say nothing, I am being chauffeured and guided and it does mean there’s less chance of finding an unexpected dent in the car later. 

We park near La Cité Radieuse, constructed by Le Corbusier, an experimental take on creating a “vertical village” in an attempt to foster more unity after the war. It is a tourist attraction and was mentioned during my high school years in Switzerland during my history of art classes. It is relatively unremarkable in comparison to the new apartment blocks that have sprung up around it in recent years but it is a point of pride for the city as it was the first of many vertical villages to be constructed. I get my mandatory photo for the family photo gallery in front of the monument and we head down the famous street Le Prado in direction of the Vélodrôme stadium which, to Mr Marseille’s disgruntlement, has been renamed Stade de Marseille (Marseille Stadium) on every surface. We see many a friendly jersey on our way down and many South Africans in various states of inebriation. Some of started their 5 o’clock pregaming with a little too much enthusiasm. The real kicker is a sneaky French supporter trying to blend in with the South African crowd but failing miserably as his green and gold jersey he’s sporting is most noticable emblazoned with gold stars and a kangaroo. Shame. 

The famous building and my best smile

The crowd in front of the Stadium shows me just how long I’ve not seen so many South Africans in one place- the volume is insane. Every bar along the way is packed and not one person leaves the counter with less than five beers,  whether this is because there aren’t enough hands or a cap put in place by the bars remains unclear until we pick our own watering hole and approach the counter. We’re met with a look of fear and determination when we get to the front and the young man behind the bar bravely asks, in English, “What would you like?”, it does come out more of a “Wut ood u lie?” but it’s a beautiful attempt. 

“J’aimerais deux grande bières et une ‘tite portion des frites s’il vous plaît.” 

I would like two large beers and a small portion of fries

The look of relief and disbelief is written all over his face, I hope he does not play poker, and he asks,

“How?” 

The full story is very lengthy and it’s not the time nor the place with some quite rowdy gents waiting for their turn to order and so I unhelpfully tell him that it was a very long flight- plenty of time to practice. We escape off to a corner to do one of my favourite sports- people watching. There’s a lot to take in. Not just the sheer volume of people but the numerous different jerseys that are on display. We really do have a lot of very nice looking supporters kit. My French friend announces this with an air of reluctance of not being able to complain. The gates open and we watch as the initial wave rushes in. When going to dispose of our cups I overhear something that is both incredibly endearing and also incredibly funny. There is a very tall, very large Afrikaans man trying desperately to order his beers in French. His Afrikaans accent and the stress of the situation is making life incredibly complicated not only for his nerves but also for the poor soul on the other side of the bar. After hearing two more attempts I step in and offer my assistance to Meneer. The combined relief of both bar tender and Oom is palpable and he manages to get away from the counter electing to not hear my translation of the price and stating, “We worry about conversion when we get home.” 

We manage to get into the stadium without too much fuss, my friend has that slippery French way of liquifying himself in a queue and enters about ten people ahead of me. The only thing a French person will respectfully queue for is a baguette. Nothing else. We get into the stadium and start climbing, and climbing, and climbing and climbing. These are free tickets so I’m not going to complain but once we’d approached the bottom layer of heaven we entered into block W seats. Having been placed in row 90 and seeing the first rows of W start at 70 I elect to do a beer and snack run now before attempting the near-vertical climb to our seats. Our section remains somewhat empty and so as soon as the anthem is sung, full volume and very enthusiastically we all spread out so as to give breathing room. My friend is still laughing at the noticeable increase in volume in the stadium as of the Afrikaans part but upon looking at the words he understands a bit better why. I was painstakingly taught the pronunciation in school but I doubt the average South African supporter present had the same thing given the age-range.

Up in the Gods 

The match was beautiful and we had a near bird’s eye view of the whole thing. The French are lovers of the underdog and so the stadium was definitely in favour of Tonga which made it all the more interesting. There was no letting up of the pressure and while the scoreboard showed a sure victory, the play on the field was nothing but fierce, competitive and combative. All in all a lovely game- even if Faf was not there (cue more French disappointment). We linger afterwards to finally meet with my ex-colleague and despite being 4 years my junior my Frenchie is desperate to make an escape to go to bed.

The wait and lingering turns out to be worth while when he’s aggressively cat-called by some very tipsy South African ladies and further still when we watch, sort of as one does a car-crash, as some South Africans rope the French Police Brigade into playing a game of toss the rugby ball. This image is best assisted in explaining that they are in near-full riot outfits complete with AK-47’s, knee pads and helmets clipped around their waists. We edge away when the ball tossing starts to teeter on the edge of being a little too competitive and join our way-ward engineer and his friends for a small beer post match. A wonderful experience and a lovely time was had. There’s something so engaging about being present and watching the love and camaraderie that comes from a shared point of focus. I hope that we get further along and might even have to look at an odd babysitting gig to maybe think of getting another shot at watching the Boks again. Paris is a lot closer than any other place will be for the near future. 

I elected for the express bus on the return trip and while slightly less adventurous it was definitely worth the “premium” paid. Safely home and amidst my chaos the next challenge will be the 5 weeks of laundry and the seasonal changing of the wardrobe that awaits me before jumping into the deep end and looking for, hopefully, a big girl job or even another big girl internship. The world awaits and after some sun and sea and a victory I am excited about what comes next. 

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Paige Partout

A Change of Voice

This is not a hostile take-over. Spoiled for choice when it comes to narrative voices these days I see. As a celebration for the end of my contract I’m on a trip to see the Bokke in Marseille.

My lovely French friend, native to Marseille, is hosting me, despite having greeted him with a, “So are you a thief or a hooker?” upon meeting him, we are actually quite good friends. He is, for clarification, neither a thief nor a rugby player but for one weekend he will be adorned in green and gold to accompany me in the stands.

Given my recent lack of employment the trip is, as the kids would say, “budget-core”. The 480km are being travelled by bus. A green bus though, so I’m technically just supporting the Springboks from start to finish. For all the wonders of living in Europe the Geneva bus station is one of the most run-down parking lots I have ever seen with no signs, schedules or order. I manage to beat the scramble to get on the bus because the gentleman driving the bus spots my passport and cannot believe I’m so far from home. I get ushered into the bus first when I tell him I’m going to see the South Africans play in Marseille.
“You have a long way to go and need to be well rested for the game.”
I spent my train trip cursing humanity as the garlic-scented man next to me played his videos at full volume but now, faith has been restored. I will not tell him I’ve been living 20 minutes away from this cursed parking lot for the past eleven years. He’s too excited for me and I’m far too gleeful about overtaking the noisy and rude British youth who’ve been cursing Switzerland for the past twenty minutes. Complaining is reserved exclusively for the French. It is their national sport and they are exceedingly gifted at it.

I was excited about my 2h30 layover in Grenoble but this is dampened somewhat when my friend messages me to tell me to be on my guard, “it’s like Marseille on steroids.” Yippee.

Grenoble turns out to not be as fearsome as depicted but I also do not stray too far out of the 4.5 star Google reviewed areas. There’s a charm to only paying 1,70€ for a large coffee. For those having heart failure at the conversion… the cheapest coffee you can find outside of the university vending machines (1CHF) is probably 3.50CHF, now 3.70CHF to account for inflation. Half the price makes it taste twice as nice. I’m a teenage girl in her twenties so I do dare to play Pokémon Go from the safety of the café before strolling around.

I look comical, black trench coat and heeled boots, amidst a sea of t-shirts. The incredibly large and hastily packed hikers backpack does not help in remaining inconspicuous. It’s not until I’ve returned to the bus station- impeccable with LED screens announcing arrivals and departures with actual numbers and zones (ahem, Geneva, looking to you to up the game a little) that I’m finally approached by the first beggar. There seems to be a myth about the wonders and wealth of Europe but in reality it’s just like everywhere else.

The bus driver is decidedly less friendly than the first team. I’m told to “sit wherever you f***g want” when asking where I should sit given that my ticket says 20D and the seats stop at 15. I sit where I please and for the moment the bus remains pleasantly empty and I sprawl myself across two seats. A luxury that would not be afforded to me had I taken a plane or train. I’m trying to convince myself that my departure from home at 06am this morning with an ETA of 5pm was a good idea and totally worth it. It’s actually working. I haven’t needed the loo yet which is probably a factor in my happiness.

I’m 259km away from Marseille when my friend messages me. The job he’s been pinning high hopes on, travelled a fair distance for an interview and devoted the last month of his life to has finally given him an answer- he’s in! I refrain from stomping in the bus but internally I’ve let out a scream of pure happiness and relief. The weekend will be a celebratory one.

My friend is only slightly less anxious than me and when we realise the combination of hosting the Rugby World Cup, being a city under construction and the French love affair for cars, there’s no way he’s going to be able to collect me from the station. It takes 60kms to convince him I will be able to navigate the metro without losing my wallet, bags or my life. I’m not quite sure what all the fuss is for. I’ve done it before, albeit with an alert eye and abundance of caution. I manage to beat him to the final metro stop and he navigates illegally turning, parking and departing from the bus stop in record breaking speeds all from the comfort of a baby blue Fiat 500. Finally I can relax, I’ve made it to Marseille. The rest will be a bonus.

 

To compensate for my long voyage I’m repaid by being taken on a long walk with excellent views. Marseille reminds me of South Africa in some ways, with just a slightly greener tinge to it. After a night of good sleep and a stint in the Med sea this morning, I’m in high spirits and very optimistic about the match tomorrow.

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Cleo's cruise

A Coruña

Sunny with intermittent showers / High of 23° / 22’927 steps

We got into port a little “later” than usual with disembarkment at 9am so I got to have a lie in. I’ve done absolutely no research for this city except for reading the blurb on Google Maps. I head in a straight line towards the city, the port is right in the middle so it’s not far to walk for once. I kind of aimlessly wander about, accidentally following some poor lady. I see street signs for one of the main attractions listed on Maps, the Tower of Hercules. On the way there I spot a small beach that also has this sort of secret passage to one side. After nearly going into the English Channel, Vans and all just two days prior, I take my shoes and socks off, roll up my pants and walk straight in. The Atlantic Ocean is fucking cold. I also regret my decision when I realize that now I’ll be walking around with sandy socks.

Around the tower is this amazing green zone with information about the biodiversity and random menhirs. I sit on some rocks by the edge of the ocean admiring the view and shaking as much sand as possible out of my socks. Once I’m satisfied with my comfort level, I continue along. I take some pictures and selfies with a rainbow, thinking how beautiful it was and not realizing that that was just an announcement of the weather to come. It started to spit in the beginning and I don’t really mind, I’m not made of sugar, but it very quickly starts to hammer down. I manage to find some shelter and I plan my next move. I decide on the aquarium that’s pretty close because at least it’s indoors. As soon as the rain lightens, I’m on my way.

The rain slows to a complete stop, with sun and all, by the time I get to the aquarium. This break lasts the whole time I’m in the aquarium, and obviously the deluge starts again as soon as I’m 10m away from the aquarium. The aquarium is a lot of fun though and I even have a weird French / Spanish conversation with a child. I continue along the coast and the big beaches, resisting the urge to get sandy socks again. I head back into town through the pedestrian zones and the overpriced shops. I bump into a guy that I’ve made kind of friends with by having a fan on the dance floor, my weekends of clubbing experience coming in clutch. My lunch is a Spanish tortilla from the Dia and a KFC that I didn’t have to pay an arm and a leg for. I’m reminded of yet another reason I didn’t want to leave Madrid two years ago. The rest of my afternoon is spent window shopping before heading back to the boat for the much needed, culturally appropriate, siesta.

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Cleo's cruise

Le Havre

Cloudy with a heavy breeze / High of 20° / 23’142 steps

We get into port around 7am. I’m awake at 6:30, excited to be back in a country that I speak the language. There’s the bonus that we’re back to a currency that doesn’t give me a heart attack buying a coffee. I disembark on a dark and cold dock. I fight my way against the wind to the city proper. I knew I wasn’t going to spend the day in Le Havre itself as my friends had so kindly described it as the ugliest port town. My alternate plan was going to a town an hour bus ride away, Étretat. Finding the station should have been easy, but I managed to follow the signs to the station parking instead. I eventually manage to get to the bus station and I even manage to find the ticket office. The bus ride actually goes by quickly and I’ve managed to get the bus with an average amount of tourists. When we get in to Étretat, I manage to walk quicker than my fellow tourists and get to the beach first. It’s not hugely difficult considering the average age of tourists at this time of the year is retirees.

The beach is cold, windy and smells of algue. The sun is shining and the waves sound like a proper ocean. I’m instantly in love. The only thing stopping me from putting my feet in is the fact I’m wearing stockings. I’m here for the beautiful cliffs so I pick the one closest to me and go up a set of steep stairs

and then the rest of the hill, stopping and taking pictures and selfies all the long. I prove my shirt true and fall into some thistles trying to get the most Instagram-able photo.

I go back the way I came, across the boardwalk and up a hectic pathway. The views from these cliffs are as breathtaking as the climb to get to them. After I get back down I play with the waves for a while, guessing where the wave is going to hit and then jumping back at the last minute. I definitely amused some of the looker ons.

I’m starting to get hungry so I finally head to the tourist office, on a mission for this town’s best crêperie. I get given two addresses, in case one is closed. The first restaurant recommended to me is closed so I go to the second one. I have an amazing crêpe and a glass of cider, for me the perfect meal in Normandie. There’s a bit of an issue with the card machine when I try to pay so I get to explore the town further while finding an ATM. I had started feeling unwell in the restaurant, my brain convinced I was still on a rocking boat and my stomach violently saying that I was not, so I head back to the buses.

The bus on the way back is slightly more full and as such I have some woman sit basically on top of me. Despite the fact a seat opens up next to her family and I look like I’m one rough bump away from showing the bus exactly what I had for lunch, she stays besides me so she can read her sisters messages over her shoulder and play with her niece who is jumping up and down on the seat in front of me. I see we’re almost at Le Havre beach so I escape. Staring at the sea makes me feel a lot better. I walk through the city, heading in the vague direction of a Primark I saw earlier to get myself a different jersey. I stumble across both a small park and the city hall on the way. No marriages today though. After my pit stop at the mall, I go back the weirdest possible way to the ship. I go through what feels like the whole of Le Havre’s industrial zone,and over a whole bunch of bridges that rotate. I do have a moment of paranoia every time I go over one, but I get back to the boat in one piece.

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Cleo's cruise

Kristiansand

Partly cloudy and windy / High of 18° / 25’796 steps

We arrived bright and early after a night of dancing, some things in my life stay constant. I got the day’s map from a tourist information worker who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there. It’s cold with minimal sun and the wind cuts straight through my jersey so I can understand. I follow everyone else, but especially the group who looks like they’ve been here before. We go through the empty fishmonger district, over one bridge and then over another. I manage to find a spot out of the wind long enough to actually look at my map. I plan my itinerary out and start walking. I decided to start out going down the shopping street, firstly because it’s the opposite direction to the recommended walking tour and also because I’m hoping to find a nice windbreaker. All the stores are closed, it’s only 9:30 so I continue my mental itinerary to the old town. The buildings are beautiful, made of white painted wood,the only remnants after a fire burned down most of the town. I don’t take many photos as most of them are obviously someone’s house, their inhabitants in their windows and even on their patios. I do manage to find the most amazing place that offered both Chakra alignment and spray tan.

I head out of old town and over a bridge and figure out pretty quickly that this is the residential zone so I double back over a different bridge. I’m heading back to the shopping district as I’m definitely cold now. I stop in at the Starbucks to wait for 11am, the time listed on the doors that the stores open on Lørdag. Now if you speak Norwegian, you’ll probably notice that means Saturday and our ship got into port on a Sunday. No matter, I’ll just have to keep moving. I head off in a different direction, kind of over this small town with only tourists and one weird guy hanging out in front of the Macdonald’s. I head down a street with three different tattoo parlors, I think I just have a sixth sense for them, and eventually end up in the back corner of the little town. There’s some beautiful street art on the back of a building and as I continue along there’s a whole tunnel full of graffiti.

I come out on the other side and spot the other thing I have a sixth sense for : trains. I spot the electric lines and all of a sudden the hunt for the train station is on. I have to make a detour due to road works, some things in my life really do stay constant, but I get to the train station that has FIVE platforms. There’s not a train in sight much to my disappointment.

I’ve officially had Enough™ of this town and head back to the boat. The sun has come out during my little morning adventures and I see that the “front” coastline is actually quite beautiful and has a couple of interesting points. There’s some fountains, a dock of ducks and then I get to a fort. I go up some stairs to a little observation point where I see a whole bunch of kites. I go the long way around to where I saw the kites so I could have a little selfie pit stop. It turns out to be a whole festival, so I plonk myself in the grass and watch as one tiny lady handles an eagle shaped kite that is almost twice her size. It’s warm in the sun and I’ve managed to phase out the wind so I nap a little in the grass.

The sun goes behind a cloud, that’s my cue to change activities. I quick stop next to the Starbucks to use their wifi reveals that there’s not a single sports bar in this place. Resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t be able to watch the Formula 1, I go back to the fishmonger district to try and find something to eat. I go to the restaurant that has the least amount of people and manage to get a waitress who’s from Bordeaux, the same place as one of my friends. We chat a little but I’m chased off the terrasse by an overly curious wasp and she has to deal with the worst clients possible: cruise ship guests. I then go back to the boat for free drinks because seeing triple digits on my bill once again really has traumatized me.

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Cleo's cruise

Copenhagen

Sunny / High of 25° / 35’926 steps

I started my day in Copenhagen with the most amazing tourist information worker. He was friendly and so so patient explaining the map, public transport and the different tickets. I then caught the bus, the metro and ended up at the main station.

I got to stare at the Danish trains and wonder what voltage they used for a little while. I eventually moved on and went past the entrance to Tivoli Gardens, the oldest amusement park in Europe, and all the people queuing. I managed to make it past the Lego shop without buying anything, a true miracle. I followed the flow of tourists (with the help of my map) to the town hall square where I saw a wedding. There was also the Scientology church, which I recognized from the Behind the Bastards podcast. From there I wandered down the shopping street, where I unfortunately indulged in a pastel pink bullet journal. I also went to Flying Tiger where I got (even more) earings. I eventually found myself in front of the statue of some guy on a horse. I saw another guy on a horse across a bridge so went and took a picture and then consulted my map again. I decided to make my way to the main canal to try and catch one of the public transport boats. I go past the museum of architecture and realize very quickly that if I visit that museum, I’ll miss my boat.

I see the next boat is in 17 minutes but I’m too impatient to wait and I promised to check out a café. I use the museum’s wifi to check where the café is, and it’s back where I’ve just been, damn. I head back, going a completely different way. I have an amazing lunch even though with the currency change I nearly had a heart attack when I saw triple digits on the bill. I decide to just pick a direction and walk from the café. I manage to find a park with beautiful planted paths and scattered rose gardens. I take some selfies and I slowly clock the weird looks and side eyes I’m getting. I figure out that it’s due to my “influencer” top, my greatest joke.

I’ve also somehow gotten to the middle of the isle, so I decide to walk in the general direction of the ship and see what I find on the way. A lot of rosebush covered buildings apparently. I also somehow come across another green space, this one with the military guarding the entrance. Ah. Just past the army men is a couple doing their wedding photos and I admire the grooms deep green tux. I continue on the path and come across a completely different wedding party, it sure is the day for it. I walk up the “ramparts” which is just grassy hills with a moat. From my higher vantage point I see a large group of obvious tourists, this must be the Little Mermaid statue. I follow the ramparts down and then figure my way to the statue.

I take my pictures and, despite being as quick and respectful as possible, my shirt gets me some dirty looks and a rather judgmental comment. I quickly head back, deciding for the second time that I’m going to try and catch a boat. No luck, they were both full and it seemed like that would continue so I start walking in the vague direction of a metro. I go past a huge “party”, basically Maesk showing off their green fuel cargo boat engine. It’s super interesting to read about. I start to really have sore feet by now so I try to find a metro. I find another guy on a horse first, this one is Julius Cesar.

I make a quick pitstop at a different train station to stare at more trains before heading back to the boat.

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Cleo's cruise

Getting to the boat

Cleo taking over the page to describe my holidays ahahaha.

My adventure starts in Lausanne, leaving my cat with a new toy and a stern reminder to behave for his sitter / aunt. I negotiate the bus, metro and the permanent building site called Lausanne station with a big suitcase in hand, and a kit bag and handbag over my shoulder. My train is only 3 minutes late despite a whole section of train tracks blocked off. I settle in with my headphones and alternate between tiktok, sudoku with my own music and obsessively checking all my online travel documents. I get to Zurich, get confused by such a big station and manage to finish 20m from where I started while having gone the long way around. All’s well that ends well, because I manage to get my tram and impress a guy by weilding my suitcase like it weighed 5 kilos.

Once off the tram, I pull up Google Maps and dutifully follow the instructions down a tiny, apparently two way road and then down a set of stairs. For some reason Maps is lagging so I wait on the sidewalk, looking around while I wait for it to sort itself out. I spot the hostel sign at the same time some guy in a car spots me. I know I’m not exactly inconspicuous with a bright orange suitcase, but I was not expecting a sidewalk conversation either. The guy tries to start a conversation in German, but quickly switches to French when he sees my look of total incomprehension. He’s curious as to why I’m in Zurich and for how long. I explain it’s just for the night because I have an early flight out of Zurich Airport. It turns out he only works in Zurich but lives in Bienne. I don’t know why he thinks I care, because I really don’t, but he seems determined to have a conversation with me. He eventually gets the hint and I finally arrive at the hostel.

At the hostel I’m greeted by an elderly woman who barely reaches my shoulder, she explains the set up in one word explanations and walks very quickly. I meet one of my dorm mates, a Parisienne who’s in Zurich doing a course for her new job. We quickly bond over our shared language, Vans and pierced nose. We grab some diy dinner from the local supermarket and then go out to the gardens to smoke. A cigarette for me, and a joint for her. Outside are two guys already smoking, talking in American accented English. My new friend and I continue talking in French and much to our surprise the two speak French as well, one of them is even from Yverdon. I give my sympathies as someone who was there nearly every week for four years. We talk about travel, clubbing, music and drugs. The drugs part mainly because I haven’t puffed and only passed the joint which leads into the discussion of which drugs we have or want to try and those that we wouldn’t touch ever. We also talk about food which makes us hungry, so my friend and I head to the kitchen where we find an Italian guy preparing a whole tray of tofu. He tries to convince me that my joke plan of going out clubbing until my 4:30am taxi is a good idea. I explain that I’m far too tired from a 7 day work week and also I’m not prepared to pay Zurich prices for a club.

The next morning I wake exactly 10 minutes before my alarm, which means I can wake my roommates with my mainly discreet stripping of the bed, and my three goings from the room. I manage to get the pavement at the exact same time as my taxi driver. We manage to communicate with my broken German and him talking slowly, and at the same cadence as if I was a child. He makes such a show putting my suitcase in the boot that I start to panic about weight allowances. He checks who I’m flying with so he can drop me off at the correct terminal and then starts chatting with me. We talked about the stupidity of the 30km/h zones outside of pedestrian priority zones, and about our jobs and how difficult it can be to take holiday in our industries. He tells me he’s going to recommend my bar to anyone he knows going to Lausanne and to be fair if I know anyone who’s likely to use a taxi in Zurich, I’ll definitely hand over his number. We stop at the door right in front of my baggage drop. He makes sure I’ll be okay with all my heavy (17kg) bags and I’m feeling pretty good about my language skills at dark thirty in the morning. I decide to try and use the machines that print your ticket for you because there’s less people and then I can go to priority bag drop. For whatever reason my machine does not work so I get help not only printing my tags but also putting them on, nice. Bag now in the hands of Swiss, I go to security which was quick and easy. I’m past security, a bathroom break and in the middle of a phone call that does not match the vibe of the holiday, that it finally clocks that I haven’t, at any point, had to show my passport. At Geneva, I would have shown my passport already twice if I’m going off my experience when going to Spain. I don’t even have to show it to get on the plane, obviously Zurich doesn’t care who’s going out.

Once I’ve landed in Hamburg, I join 4 elderly couples and one elderly, grumpy, lady to catch the transfer bus to Kiel. I’ve barely sat down on the bus and I’m already passed out sleeping. A bus trip of I don’t know how long, gone in the blink of an eye. I go through the long and boring process of check in and realize two things. I should have brought a thicker jersey and all these people have a piece of paper with a barcode that I don’t have. I get my funky little card and at the foot of the ship I explain my situation and have to get checked in manually, whoops! It only took two minutes so it was okay. I was finally on the boat.

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Uncategorized

A tentative return

Howzit, Bonjour,

So, where to to start? I abandoned the blogging soon into starting the blog. The excuse was we threw a lot of money at a 3 month intensive french course while Janet was booked off of work. Janet at some stage soon will attempt to be certified at a B1 level, the language requirement for citizenship. Not the only requirement alas, us Africans need to be here 12 years before applying.  Of course the overachiever will waltz off with distinction, despite her current panic.
My French is a lot better, I went from class 9 to class 26. Janet went from 26-40, I have a way to go.

Talking to a good friend in December, she said to me she gave up reading my whatsapp missives because they were too long. Fair cop. I will be trying more frequent posts, possibly shorter 🙂

Healthwise we are better, a lot better. Both of us take several pills each day. One of the bonuses from the health calamities last year is that we both were shortlisted for the Covid vaccines, and had both doses of Pfizer in February.  Quick and efficient, I love living in an age of science. I really cannot understand the people wish to be back in the middle ages.

Janet is back at work. I have yet to win the lotto, so have not stopped the glamorous life of an international money broker.

Paige is still in digs in Neuchatel (Neuch to her, Newcastle to me) Live classes start this week after months of Zoom.
Cleo is itching to finish her apprenticeship, the 4 years end in July, she has done well, getting up at 5.00 a.m. most mornings. The child is not mentally stable, planning now to study law! we will have a dishwasher packer for the next 7 years.

We have bought an apartment, very similar to the one we have been renting for the last 7 years. With help from Cleo (the advantage of making a child doing an apprenticeship save instead of charging board and lodgings), The promise of a loan from my sister in NZ, who was prepared to dip into her bond to help. The commitment from a good friend to fund us while negotiating the Excon and tax brambles of SA to extract Janet’s inheritance and my cashed in insurance policies.
In life Janet’s folks seed the deposit of our first house, saying it was the money they saved by her staying at home while studying instead of funding res fees or digs. Our first house cost R196 000.00 about Sfr 12 250. The garage we have bought with our apartment is Sfr 30 000.00. Our first house was about 300 sq meters, our bond rate was at 20%. We have bought 130 sq meters at 1.10%.
We get the keys on 28 may, and need to be out of the current apartment by the end of June.

We are currently on the third floor of No 8, we have bought the fourth floor of No 10. The lifts battle to hold 3 people, so basically all the big stuff is going down 3 floors and up four flights of stairs. I have hired people to do this, neither of us are young enough to do it all anymore.

Rambling on and on as usual 🙁

The whole purchase still feels surreal, and not expected at all. Janet’s inheritance making up the bulk of the 20% deposit along with our proceeds from the Parkmore and Vaal properties. The 5% fees plus the small renovations funded by borrowings until the cashed in policies are converted in Swiss francs.

Janet received a message at about 3 p.m. on 27 feb that the apartment was on offer. She contacted the agent straight away. She made a big spiel about living in the block for seven years. She was told we could view on the Thursday as the viewing calendar was full until then.

Monday she was told there was a cancellation, we could view at 5 p.m. that day. Cleo joined us, the agent said an early offer was often accepted. Janet tendered an offer at the asking price within an hour. This was done more in hope than expectation.

During Janet’s convalescence she had taken to walking with J. J and her husband JC are proper Swiss, and have been very kind to us over the years, despite ignoring for the first two years. “there are so many expats that pass through here, it was not worth knowing you until we could see you would stay”

After posting our offer J told Janet that she hoped we would be accepted, but that it was unlikely as her cousin who was swiss had also bid at the same price. Another neighbour, my beautiful Ursula whose husband Francois died 2 weeks ago, and was buried on what would have been their 60th anniversary, said that the Swiss preferred to sell to Swiss, and that M. Rytz was a very conservative Swiss man. Her apartment is next to ours – the third floor of No6. She has always been a ray of sunshine to us and the girls, one of the bubbliest people at our aperos, or meeting her when walking to recycle our bottles and peelings.

The agent then called a week later and said we needed to confirm funding, as the seller favoured us despite a receiving a bid 10% higher.

The funding scramble went into overdrive, Sally got on board – Cleo revealed she could help. A chance remark over dinner resulted in a very kind offer from a friend. Hopefully, the way things are going only Cleo will be getting the 2% interest we are paying for the interim funding.
Funding secured the bid was finalised with backing of Janet’s bank. Once we had the 20% in her account, they issued the guarantee.

Sfr 10 000 of Cleo’s money was in cash. I imagined a shopping bag full of notes. Instead it was a mere fold of paper, never have I been more worried about losing paper than the day I need to deposit that money to make the 20%.

Funding secured on my birthday 18 March, the agent called Janet to say we had been successful, and then asked what did we do at the start of Covid. A puzzling question as Janet the girls and Cheryl* all were locked down from March 2020.  Janet said she taught her classed by Zoom, teams and stayed at home.

He the asked what we did for the building. At the start of Covid, before Janet’s cancer, and my hypertension fright we viewed ourselves as the youngsters of the block. Not unreasonable given a lot of our neighbours bought off plan  in 1970. Wanting a flat with a garden for their kids to play in. Of course estate agents have to put their special BS in, the garden is referred to as a private park. Creating images ofa lord hunting deer and shooting geese, it has a nice braai area.

We put a letter into each letterbox at the start of lockdown offering to do shopping, collect pharmacy orders etc. Not one person ever took us up, several thanked us for the gesture, but we did not have to help anyone. M. Rytz remembered this, and decided we were the people to buy his apartment. We have, and his family have been unbelievably kind about giving us keys to store stuff in the garage, the ability to bring tradesmen in to measure up for the renovations needed. A small gesture has gone a long way, almost as long as my rambling blog.

Love you all

 

 

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Pa(a)s mal

 

Not Mad Easter in Afrikaans, but not bad in French. I know that Easter is paas in Afrikaans, but it was a convenient hook to hang the start of this blog. Mal is bad in French, but mad in Afrikaans. Sometimes these similarities help in remembering words, other times… well I struggle to learn French.

This is an explanation why this blog will be even more sporadic for the foreseeable future. I am studying French through https://swissfrenchschool.ch/test/en/placement . One of the better language schools, there are plenty. Janet is booked off until January, as such decided to use the time off to level up on French. They offered a discount if a spouse signed up at the same time.

I have cashed in my SA life policies to pay for this. I can get a job as a shelf packer speaking reasonable French. I cannot live here for more than a year on the proceeds after 30 years  of paying premiums to Liberty and Sanlam.

Well to the nub of the matter, I am rather short of time, but want to maintain this discipline.

I want to, for myself, write once a week. I know some weeks will be weak.

So brace yourself for a scattershot of thoughts, hopefully mostly cogent.

On the health front, Janet getting stronger each day. She needed to switch medicine for the headaches, ahead of the hormone treatment. She still walks ferociously, shedding inches. The sunburn has receded    The hormone treatment will stop production of hormones, but not initiate menopause yet.

Work is what it has been for too long, trying to grab some of the winnow of the few trades going through.

I ache at times with my love for South Africa and missing the people. However I am scared about the level of corruption. However, it still produces tremendous people. Possibly you are all aware of Master KG, and his song. If you have seen too often, I apologise. We hear this many times on the French randio station we listen to on weekends, Champagne FM (try streaming if you have uncapped data).

A topic I hope to have each week, and eventually a list and photo’s is things that give me joy. This will follow as time becomes more free.

First and foremost is Janet, ’nuff said.

Time has run, out. Love you all.

 

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A mélange of thoughts

Week 3 of blogging, not sure if the weekly commitment, to me only, will survive.

As mentioned last week we have thrown a lot of money at a French course. My heavens, what a lot of work, after 2 hours this morning I asked Janet if we could get a refund.

Janet is a hoot, I hope to do 16 classes in the next 12 weeks. If successful I will be where Janet is now. In earnest this morning, when we where each battling our language classes, she asked me for help. Needless to say she figured it out by herself.

My problem when writing fluctuates between what to write about, and then stop running down every rabbit hole.

I have several themes I will expound (bore you shitless) on in the weeks while creating filler between cramming French. Expect a very visual blog on things that give me joy. Photo’s will only be inanimate objects.

Family news, I managed to row 4 times this week. When the alarm goes off at 4.55 it is unusual, as some delivery person starts delivering something between 4.20 and 4.40. He now uses an electric scooter which is far less noisy than the Moto X bike he used before. It possibly would not make any noise if he did not mount the pavement with the bootbox unlatched. This gets me into the games room 2 buildings along, where  I have a borrowed concept II, by 5.00 am.

Thank goodness it is so early, I wear a sweatband as  I need to keep both hands on the oar. I wheeze and sweat through 6.5-6.8 km for 30 minutes, not a pretty sight. Poor Cleo is the only one that sees the sweaty mess afterwards. She starts early in Lausanne, so she is leaving as I pour myself upstairs.

The exercise, I do it at least twice a week, with the medication all seem to work. My blood pressure is all very good now. Weight seems to have plateaued at 94 Kg after a bottom at 92. Much healthier than the 106Kg this time last year.

Janet is walking up a storm, between the end of radiation and start of hormone therapy. Her migraine tablets may clash with the hormone tablets, so those have stopped, the tablets and hopefully the headaches as well. Janet is dreading the weight and mood changes associated with the hormone therapy. I am sure we will survive this as well.

One of the side effects of the radiation is sunburn. Janet has been battling with the pain and the itchiness of the peeling. Our young Swiss booking clerk suggested cannabis infused oil. I asked him to buy some. Apparently it sits on the shelf nestled between the canola and almond oils alongside the sunflower and olive staples. It appears to help, either that or time actually heals in this case.

Went to Neuchatel yesterday, again, took Paige a coffee table, toaster pot and microwave.   The departure of one of the flatmates led to a gap in equipment.
There are rituals that would have made no sense living in SA, on our way back from the delivery run we stopped at the brits grocery mecca https://jbmarket.ch/ to order our Christmas turkey. Most of their imported stuff is expensive, however free range turkeys from them are the least expensive in Switzerland. They are are super tasty, best of all we can collect a few days before Christmas, avoiding having to use limited freezer space.

Next door is a branch of Lidl, so we popped in to get some veg and milk. Well…. there was a freezer with geese, it has been my ambition to have roast goose since moving to Europe. Next Sunday I will realize that ambition. Much more exciting to look forward to than all the French lessons I have to do.

I would love to pour out more but the candle is fizzling, love you.